Busy Busy Week

It's Saturday and I'm still working, and probably will be through the weekend, but it's been great to be busy! A bunch of us did stop for awhile yesterday, and attended Seth's memorial service. It's so hard to believe he's gone and not coming back, but the service was filled with remembrances and not too sad. There was even some humor, which was fitting, because Seth was always with a smile and laugh.

Spencer has been feeling positive results from his chiropractic appointments, which makes him less cranky from being in pain all the time, and hence, much easier to live with lol. And he wants to try some herbal supplements for pain such as devil's claw, if we can get our hands on it.

Yesterday I got to see Cary for some spontaneous afternoon delight, and I carried the wonderful feeling with me the rest of the day.

Spencer might meet a woman next week that he's been friends with on facebook for quite awhile. He really does need another positive relationship to give him a boost, especially now that he'll be starting the rehab program. The more support the better!

Must dash; so much to do!
Hope all is well in your world,
~Pym

Double-dip Sunday

'Had a super-sweet Sunday yesterday, being able to spend a couple very languid hours with Cary [while Spencer voluntarily perused his favorite local store], then in the evening having the pleasure of giving a tasty bj to Spencer.

So often lately Cary and I have had to experience "quickies" which are exciting in and among themselves, but the time flies too quickly. Yesterday we could take our time, makes lots of noise, and lay together for a long time after, having conversation on a range of topics while holding and touching each other. It was the drawn-out time I'd needed with him for awhile, and I thanked Spencer profusely for the gift of time alone with Cary.

And not that he asked to be rewarded, but part of showing my appreciation to Spencer entailed a pleasurably mouth-watering bj on the couch.

And I am appreciative to be blessed with these relationships. I've thought not a few times today that even though I can be stressed by a lot of factors, I am truly lucky to be able to experience so much love in my life -- Thank you, Universe!

I'm going to try to wind down now and get some reading in before sleep,
'Night all,
~Pym

The First Love Part III

We left off in The First Love Part II with Spencer and I meeting another couple named George and Hillary. Our first error there, I'd say, was meeting them on a swinging site. That didn't make them or their lifestyle bad, but it should have been an indication that they weren't looking for the same thing(s) we were, and our philosophies on "sharing" were going to be a lot different.

We initially met at a restaurant, and hit it off quite well. They were just a smidge older than us, but were physically attractive, funny and intelligent, and down to earth, with a nice family. And they weren't from the South, which gave us even more in common.

When I met George, I felt an attraction almost right away. He was just so cute, kinda' goofy, and I loved his eyes. He kept saying he loved my hair and was wanting to pet it, and said he'd love to help me wash it. [I hope that didn't mean he thought it needed washing.]

We all talked for quite awhile, had some beers, flirted with each other, and then decided to go back to our place to check on our doggy, who's health wasn't so good and couldn't be left alone too long.

At our place [someone got more beer on the way] we drank and laughed more, and things started to get a bit physical. Actually I thought Spencer and Hillary were ahead of us in that department. I could see them smooching some already. Mostly while that was going on, George and I were snuggling on the couch, and he kept saying "I'm the luckiest man alive" and he'd kiss me and we'd snuggle closer. I'm not sure why we had made that connection, but it definitely was there.

Spencer and Hillary went out onto the balcony [I think for Hillary to try to blow him in the dark out there] while George and I stayed on the couch. I was sure Spencer and Hillary were going to "do it" so I felt justified in moving on with George. Sooo, to Spencer's surprise, when he and Hillary came back into the apartment, George and I were engaged in making love on the living room floor!

Spencer wasn't upset, but was started. Hillary wasn't upset because they're swingers and used to spontaneous sex. George and I on the other hand were feeling much more emotional about the whole thing than we let on. He kept saying how sweet I was, and how next time we got together he'd make sure it was something special, "I promise." We were already smitten with each other though our spouses weren't the wiser.

As it turned out, Spencer and Hillary didn't go very far physically after all [Spencer had drank too much] so it was me who had thrown aside the reins and taken off on my own, with some emotional consequences still to come.

~Pym

Monday

Lots of days have been really nice recently, and I had an especially wonderful day Monday!
In the morning I gave Spencer a bj before work, and I had a luxuriously long lunch with Cary!
Then a relaxing evening, home again with Spencer, reading in bed.
It was a day of simple, lovely pleasures!
~Pym

The First Love, Part II

The day that Spencer and Judith had arranged to have their first sexual encounter, I'd arranged to go to the movies [I remember it was Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] with a platonic guy friend of mine. He apparently didn't notice how nervous and shaky I was the whole time, thinking of what Spencer was doing at home.

I believe I was intellectually ready -- most of us in this lifestyle say we are -- but the actual leap from an academic discussion of poly to going the full step of caring penetration with another is just that, a leap -- of trust, and faith -- me trusting that Spencer won't go too far emotionally, and he trusting me that I won't in the end wig out.

Well, I didn't wig out, and though it was a difficult step, I was glad that Spencer and Judith had a good time together. It was a feeling of compersion for two people I genuinely cared about and loved.

The problem started with Spencer's growing love for Judith growing into an almost obsession with Judith. Wanting to know if I'd talked to her; she didn't write him back right away, is she off him or ignoring him? Is she talking to other guys? Calling her at her work when he should have been calling me at mine. Yes, after several months of this, I got jealous, and sometimes downright mad.

Spencer does have a habit of latching on to a relationship and nearly driving it into the ground; it's something he's working on now, but back then, I was sick of it. If I heard her name once more I was going to scream!

Eventually, because of conflicts brought on by Spencer's modus operandi, and because of other things on Judith's part, they did go separate ways. I had to say I was relieved, though there was the continual questioning of me if I'd talked to her or seen her and if she asked about Spencer.

Soon however, the tables were going to be turned after we met a couple through Swing Lifestyle, George and Hillary.

And did I ever fall for George.

~Pym

Still here

Yes, Spencer and I are still here! It seems like it's been awhile since I've posted, but in a way it's good because we've been busy with productive things. Lots of pleasure reading, doing things around the house [especially yard work], and spending enriching time together. Spencer is working hard on tapering his drinking and I can see an improvement and give him my heartfelt thanks for trying! I've also gotten to have some wonderful extra time with Cary -- once meeting for a daytime skyclad encounter, on the grass in his fenced-in yard -- oh my that was delicious! [While we were lying there a low-flying plane came overhead and I wondered if they could see us? *smile*] Also, I thank Spencer for giving me the gift of being able to share times like that with someone else that I love. As for Spencer, he's really missing Amanda, but I guess they both know that somehow they cannot get over their communication problems and constant bickering. I hope that after this "hump" of hard feelings, they can still come back together as friends. Spencer is actively looking for someone with alternative spiritual leanings and a tolerance for someone working on an addiction...on that note, if anyone is interested in corresponding with Spencer, do contact me and I'll do my best to introduce you!
~Pym

Just For Fun

I was wondering if anyone had their own names for sexual positions they do with partners -- as in something you did spontaneously and gave a name to later?

Here are ours [so far], named after the motel/hotels in which they occurred, with a brief description of position:

1) The Gold Strike: me on bathroom counter, Spencer and I facing each other, my back up to mirror, I should've worn a helmet

2) The Motel 6: me leaning over bathroom counter, Spencer getting me "doggy style", hurt to walk for to 2 days [seriously]

3) The Sam's Town: it's why there are luggage racks in hotel rooms; that's all I'm gonna say...

We hope to make more memories, but feel free to share some of yours! ;O)

--Pym

Moving forward

Today was our second appointment together at the counselor, and I'm proud of how well Spencer is opening up and expressing himself, especially since the counselor is a guy. But he's a cool guy and seems to listen and make suggestions without harsh judgment, only helping hone perspectives.

Our Valentine's weekend was really nice; had a three-day weekend since Monday was Presidents' Day. Spencer and I spent Saturday together during the day, doing some of our favorite things: going thrift store shopping and eating out.

In the evening he went with Kip to a movie and I got to have a quick visit [and a quickie] with Cary. It could only be a quickie due to time constraints but it was hot! Hot to see him, be pounded by him, and lie on the bed together afterwards. We're both hoping we can find the opportunity to spend more than just minutes to hours together sometime in the near future, and I'm lobbying to get a room for a night, but that's a step he and his wife will have to decide upon together. It would be their first time sharing during an all-nighter, and I want them both to be comfortable with it if it happens.

At least that's what I tell myself. Truthfully, if he said he was going to tell her that he would be out of town a night for a convention, but got us a room instead...I'd still take it. Isn't that terrible? In my rationalization I'd say it's because I don't believe she tells Cary everything she does, and I think she's flat-out cheated on him in the past. And, yes, I did that to my first husband, but hypocritical or not, I don't think it's any worse for him to do so if she has already. Sigh, where are my principles? And I know Spencer would be disappointed in me if I did it. Hmmm, I need to think that one over a bit more...

Spencer has been missing Amanda quite a bit, and is trying to at least keep some email communications going with her. It's good for him to have someone to talk to who understands our lifestyle, but I'm not sure if it's healthy for them to pursue a romantic relationship again. As long as they can get along, I'll support them both; but I don't want to have to put back on the striped referee uniform. I look terrible in stripes.

First Experiences, Part II

As a foreword to this post, I'd like to report that Spencer and I had a great week; he went all during the work week without drinking, and we've had a lot of fun, and today some hot sex, while Cary watched on cam...'couldn't ask for more except maybe for Cary to be with us...and it was topped off with a trip to our favorite Mexican restaurant. Now that's a beautiful day!

Returning to the topic of some of our first experiences: after all our discussions about what we might like to try, we decided to attend our first swingers' "social" just to check things out.

Spencer had joined some online groups and contacted a husband and wife who hosted regular socials in a nearby town. After a few emails back and forth in which they cleared us to attend, we were give the time and place for the event. Yes, even swingers have a vetting process.

It was probably obvious that it was our first time, and we both felt like green newbies, being pretty much looked over like fresh meat by a lot of the attendees. However we were warmly welcomed by an older couple and sat with them for most of the evening.

I could tell this Mrs. would have liked to have bonked Spencer right away, and for the age difference, she was kinda' on the hot side, but we just weren't ready. In total truth, besides the younger couple we met later, she was probably one of the hotter/classier women there -- I'm afraid most of the other women, barring just a few, were quite overweight and not the most attractive, and the same goes for many of the men.

I'm sure it sounds judgmental, but when it comes to having sex, or making love, there needs to be some physcial attraction. We're not model quality but when someone has "let themselves go" it shows.

We were introduced to a couple younger than us, the wife of the couple being bi and really attractive and nicely plump. I danced with her, which was cool, especially knowing lots of eyes were on us.

This social took place at a hotel and we were invited back to the room of the younger couple, though we still weren't ready for anything physical. We all four talked for awhile, Spencer giving her a neck massage, and her husband giving me one. Before leaving I kissed her on the mouth, and also her husband, and then Spencer kissed her. So far all had gone smoothly, with no pressure on either of us and no real jealousies to speak of...until Spencer kissed her on the forehead.

For some reason this bothered me more than a full-on mouth kiss, I think because it was a tender gesture, and I believed that it should be reserved only for me.

I think we didn't talk too much on the way home but when we finally crawled into bed, I cried, and Spencer held me, and I admitted that this kiss really bothered and hurt me.

We were both a little surprised that such an innocent action could elicit as strong a response from me as it did, but we talked it out, beginning our journey down a road of "alternative" experiences and a deepening relationship.

Balance

Sunday I was hoping to get with Cary and have a back-seat fling, however as we were chatting I revealed that it'd been almost a month since Spencer and I had made love. His reply: "Holy Shit!"

And then he made a sensible suggestion: he asked me to restore balance and harmony in the Universe and make love to Spencer, before he (Cary) and I do again.

It made me feel good that he was considering Spencer (not too many guys would turn down sex to make sure someone else got it -- is it a form of fraternal compersion?), and it was a reminder that Spencer is my primary, in sex and love.

Not that I don't know or feel that, but like I said to Cary, it's true that often Spencer and I are so drained with day-to-day life and worries that we forget to look at each other as lovers.

I did make love to Spencer -- well, really, he made love to me -- it'd been a long time since we did missionary, and it was lovely. I felt so warm and cocooned in his arms.

But then I did use the Magic Wand while Spencer caught his breath -- and that was a sweet ending to long-overdue lovemaking.

--Pym