Last night I had a hard night, though I can't put my finger on exactly why. Spencer had to comfort me while I slowly cried and couldn't explain the sadness. I do take Paxil for ocd symptoms and some depression, but I'd missed a couple doses while waiting to pick up my refill and that may have contributed some.
I also feel a bit rejected that I haven't heard from Cary in almost a week. Granted, his last text five days ago said "I love you" but I admit I need more communication. Spencer said Cary is dealing with a lot since his wife had recently asked him for a divorce, and I do know that, but I want to help him through it if I can, and I feel like I can't reach out to him.
It's also very possible that he's having to reign in texts/emails/chats so that nothing can be held against him in a divorce proceeding, but I would understand that, too, if he'd just let me know.
Anyhow, that's my confused perspective at the moment.
I was really thinking last night that when this relationship with Cary runs its course, I don't want to date anyone for awhile. I won't keep Spencer from seeking anyone else out, but I'm just emotionally tired.
It hurts too much.
yes these type of relationships can be very emotionally draining, especially the aftermath, but it's wonderful that you had your primary mate, friend & lover there for comfort, support & encouragement!
ReplyDeletethings will work out , life has a way of balancing everything out, whether we see it as good or bad, it still balances out...and it may or may not always be to our benefit, at least from our perspective at that moment. hang in there sweet friend!