I'm trying to think back to our earliest experiences and experiments in our lifestyle. To include everything, I'd have to go back all the way to our first date.
The date included only we two, but for some reason Spencer thought it appropriate to show a video of a naked woman wallowing on his [clothed] lap. There is a story behind the video, but to this day Spencer remarks, "I can't believe I showed that to you on our first date."
The footage was actually audition footage of the woman's tryout for a friend's movie. Apparently it was "anything goes" for her and she gamely took off her clothes to enhance her audition. Spencer, being the co-director, got to be her straight man, so to speak.
Call me a lugnut, but I thought the video quite funny, especially seeing Spencer's uncomfortable posturing, not sure how to react to this spontaneous gift of naked womanhood, literally plopping into his lap. As talkative as he is about sex, he can be a shy boy when it comes down to real interaction, and the discomfort on his face was charming to me.
Even on that first date, just sitting on the floor in his apartment living room and talking for hours, we discussed how we felt about open "relationshipping". I hadn't yet told him [I was to admit it sometime during the night] that I had cheated in my marriage that had ended the year before, so honest non-monogamy was something I wasn't opposed to, though I'd never heard the word polyamorous.
Later that night we went back to my apartment with a 6-pack. To me the drinking was just a bit of cutting loose on a Friday night--I didn't know it'd become a way of life--but at the time it was a blast. We drank and sang and went to bed, and talked about all kinds of things. During the night I cried and told him what I did in my first marriage, and he told me it was okay. Finally we made love, and we've been together ever since, sharing lots of love, some hurts and losses, but no regrets.
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